Carefree Eater Gifts

Recipes from the Revised Senior Citizen Cookbook

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

'I don't really take much notice of use-by dates: My family eats pretty much anything...'

'Maybe I'll die earlier because I drink, smoke and eat too much. But at least, I'll die happily!'

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

"First the good news, there's no longer any point in you eating broccoli."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

I took a vacation to forget everything and I forgot my luggage.

All Natural Nothing

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'What are you eating now?'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'Just look at him- a fool and his money are soon partying!'

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Fridge-to-table"

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

Weathervanes.

"I'm here to warn you, do not eat both slices of cake – you're going to want one tomorrow."

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"Always eat your broccoli."

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

'Eat in moderation, Drink in moderation. Be merry whenever you want.'

An apple a day!

Meat Department