Dietary Freedom Pillows

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Two vegans, please."

The discovery of asparagus.

"Privates Beach"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Chocs away.

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"You won’t need refills."

Macho Vegetarian

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

'You must stop feeding him fish oils to make him cleverer.'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

“Children hate me.”

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'