Dietary Dancer Gifts

"The Sullivans have food allergies. Did you remember to bring your own gluten?"

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Not that sort of body building program!'

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

'The kids are on a hunger strike, I'm on a diet, and you're on your own.'

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

'You're going to have to stop smoking, drink less, change your eating habits and start taking regular exercise.' 'This seems awfy one-sided, Doctor.'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

'It's good that you're taking vitamins... but you need to stop BUTTERING them.'

"I do diet...between snacks."

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'I have a very demanding and stressful job. I'd quit but the stress caused me to lose two dress sizes.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

'It counts as one of your five portions a day.'

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."