Dietary Dancer Gifts

"The Sullivans have food allergies. Did you remember to bring your own gluten?"

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Not that sort of body building program!'

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

'The kids are on a hunger strike, I'm on a diet, and you're on your own.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'You're going to have to stop smoking, drink less, change your eating habits and start taking regular exercise.' 'This seems awfy one-sided, Doctor.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"I do diet...between snacks."

'It's good that you're taking vitamins... but you need to stop BUTTERING them.'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

"I'm worried you're not getting enough fruit and vegetables."

'I have a very demanding and stressful job. I'd quit but the stress caused me to lose two dress sizes.'

'It counts as one of your five portions a day.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."