Dietary Drama Enthusiast Gifts

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

'You're eating all the wrong food.'

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

'Still antsy about the new diet I put you on?'

How to keep your man healthy: 'No sex 'til you eat your vegetables!'

'A table near the food, please.'

'Quit chewing tobacco? But that's the only source of fiber I get.'

"How's everything?"

Woman on scales.

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

'I was doing REALLY well, and then I sleepwalked last night and at a 20-pound bag of potatoes!'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

"Places, everybody!"

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

'Still at a plateau, Mrs Johnson?'

'You've been on a diet and lost six kilos...Well I think I have found them!'

Shame on You.

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'

"...and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day."

"I knew it."

Fly at the tennis club cafe.

"Dear God, noooooo oooo!" "The Oreo tragedy"

'You did ask for the wine steward - now grovel, man, grovel!'

"Put an olive in it please. My doctor told me to eat more greens!"

'Oh,do grow up - dinner wasn't that late.'