Dietary Drama Enthusiast Gifts

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'You're eating all the wrong food.'

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

'Still antsy about the new diet I put you on?'

'A table near the food, please.'

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

How to keep your man healthy: 'No sex 'til you eat your vegetables!'

'Quit chewing tobacco? But that's the only source of fiber I get.'

Woman on scales.

"How's everything?"

'I was doing REALLY well, and then I sleepwalked last night and at a 20-pound bag of potatoes!'

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"

"Places, everybody!"

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

"I knew it."

'Still at a plateau, Mrs Johnson?'

"Dear God, noooooo oooo!" "The Oreo tragedy"

'You did ask for the wine steward - now grovel, man, grovel!'

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'

Fly at the tennis club cafe.

Shame on You.

"...and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day."

'You've been on a diet and lost six kilos...Well I think I have found them!'

"Put an olive in it please. My doctor told me to eat more greens!"

'It's a blackmail note - Someone saw me going into that Fish-and-Chip shop!'