Diet Resolution Gifts

'Doctor said to burn more calories.'

'Letting you pick up the check will help you stay on your diet.'

Soup of the month.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

The discovery of asparagus.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Macho Vegetarian

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

"You won’t need refills."

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Obesity Report