Health Resolutions Gifts

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Cardiac Recovery.

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"You're right, they are statins."

January Joiner

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

Healthy.

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

"Good for you for getting your mammogram."

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

New Years Reolutions

D I E T F We said we'd stick together this time, but we really knew it would only last a day or two.

"...For new year, I'm going to stop watching so much sport..."

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

Wild Animal Park. How are the animals doing with their new year's resolutions? Good! The gazelle is trying to slow down and enjoy life, and the sloth is exercising more! What's the goat's resolution? To be more careful about what he eats? No, he just wants to spend more time with the kids this year. I heard the doe made a resolution to save some money. You misunderstood, Ernie. She didn't make any resolutions for herself. Her goal this year is to convince the male members of her specie

"Lookin' good, Frosty!"

Who am I kidding?

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'