Health Resolutions Gifts

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Cardiac Recovery.

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"You're right, they are statins."

January Joiner

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

Healthy.

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

"Good for you for getting your mammogram."

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

New Years Reolutions

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

"...For new year, I'm going to stop watching so much sport..."

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Lookin' good, Frosty!"

Who am I kidding?

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."