Diaper Duty Dodger Gifts

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"They look so young and helpless."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

'That never gets old.'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

Free Hugs

Parenting magazines.

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

Gangster Babies

"It's your turn to change his diaper!"

'Did you know that baby birds just hang it over the edge of their nest and let it fly!'

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

"Does it come with instructions?"

"When I said change the baby, I meant his diapers!"

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

Smiling at people who make stupid noises, wearing diapers, crying at least 8 times a night, getting cuddled by wrinkled grandparents... Man, being a baby is the World's hardest job!

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

'Here, take this. It came in handy when I used to change your nappy.'

"Well he smells like his father."

"It's as if I never left work, all day long on a turd processor"

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

Why it's called child-rearing.

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

'Occupational hazard.'

"Tell us everything you know and we'll see what we can do about a fresh diaper."

Baby Thoughts in Nappy Changing.

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

"Awww....someone's done a pooping in their pants. How cute?"