Diaper Duty Dodger Pillows

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"They look so young and helpless."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'That never gets old.'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

Parenting magazines.

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

'Did you know that baby birds just hang it over the edge of their nest and let it fly!'

"Does it come with instructions?"

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

"When I said change the baby, I meant his diapers!"

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

Smiling at people who make stupid noises, wearing diapers, crying at least 8 times a night, getting cuddled by wrinkled grandparents... Man, being a baby is the World's hardest job!

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

'Here, take this. It came in handy when I used to change your nappy.'

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

"It's as if I never left work, all day long on a turd processor"

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

"Well he smells like his father."

'Occupational hazard.'

Why it's called child-rearing.

Baby Thoughts in Nappy Changing.

"Tell us everything you know and we'll see what we can do about a fresh diaper."

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

"Awww....someone's done a pooping in their pants. How cute?"