Diaper Dodgers Gifts

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

"They look so young and helpless."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

"When I said change the baby, I meant his diapers!"

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

'Did you know that baby birds just hang it over the edge of their nest and let it fly!'

"Does it come with instructions?"

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

Smiling at people who make stupid noises, wearing diapers, crying at least 8 times a night, getting cuddled by wrinkled grandparents... Man, being a baby is the World's hardest job!

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

'Here, take this. It came in handy when I used to change your nappy.'

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

"Tell us everything you know and we'll see what we can do about a fresh diaper."

'But that's the baby you took in.'

'Occupational hazard.'

"Well he smells like his father."

"It's as if I never left work, all day long on a turd processor"

Why it's called child-rearing.

Baby Thoughts in Nappy Changing.

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

"Oooglie oooglie googlie googlie..." "Who is this person? Where's the one with the milk?"

'Let's get ready for daycare!!'

'I really don't like breast-feeding, but it's really good therapy for her.'