Diaper Diplomat Gifts

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

'That never gets old.'

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Someone needs a new diaper..." "Another shakedown!"

Parenting magazines.

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

Dad waiting for baby to be born.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Does it come with instructions?"

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

Advantages of Growing Older

"Our max is six M&Ms for poop on the potty but try to hold her to three."