Diaper Duty Warriors Gifts

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"That is one absorbent nappy."

Changing the baby.

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

"They look so young and helpless."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'That never gets old.'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

Free Hugs

Parenting magazines.

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

"Does it come with instructions?"

"I think this end is loaded."

"When I said change the baby, I meant his diapers!"

Gangster Babies

'Did you know that baby birds just hang it over the edge of their nest and let it fly!'

Gas Mask.

Man disposes of baby's nappy in a toxin waste bin.

"At first it was difficult having a new baby. But now I'm doing fine!"

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

Smiling at people who make stupid noises, wearing diapers, crying at least 8 times a night, getting cuddled by wrinkled grandparents... Man, being a baby is the World's hardest job!

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

'Here, take this. It came in handy when I used to change your nappy.'

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: Mother examines baby's faeces

'Changing diapers isn't so bad, as long as you don't look down.'

'Occupational hazard.'

"Well he smells like his father."

'creamed peas excepted.'

Why it's called child-rearing.