Diaper Duty Warriors T-Shirts

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"That is one absorbent nappy."

Changing the baby.

"They look so young and helpless."

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'That never gets old.'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

Parenting magazines.

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

"I think this end is loaded."

"When I said change the baby, I meant his diapers!"

"Does it come with instructions?"

'Did you know that baby birds just hang it over the edge of their nest and let it fly!'

Man disposes of baby's nappy in a toxin waste bin.

Gas Mask.

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

"At first it was difficult having a new baby. But now I'm doing fine!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

Smiling at people who make stupid noises, wearing diapers, crying at least 8 times a night, getting cuddled by wrinkled grandparents... Man, being a baby is the World's hardest job!

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

'Here, take this. It came in handy when I used to change your nappy.'

'But that's the baby you took in.'

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

"It's as if I never left work, all day long on a turd processor"

'creamed peas excepted.'

"Well he smells like his father."

'Occupational hazard.'

'Changing diapers isn't so bad, as long as you don't look down.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: Mother examines baby's faeces

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."