Diaper Duty Dodgers Gifts

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"They look so young and helpless."

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

'sugar and spice my eye.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

"Does it come with instructions?"

"When I said change the baby, I meant his diapers!"

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

'Did you know that baby birds just hang it over the edge of their nest and let it fly!'

"I think this end is loaded."

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

Smiling at people who make stupid noises, wearing diapers, crying at least 8 times a night, getting cuddled by wrinkled grandparents... Man, being a baby is the World's hardest job!

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

'Here, take this. It came in handy when I used to change your nappy.'

"You see it as half full, I see his diaper as half empty."

'Occupational hazard.'

"It's as if I never left work, all day long on a turd processor"

'creamed peas excepted.'

"Well he smells like his father."

Why it's called child-rearing.

Baby Thoughts in Nappy Changing.

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

"Tell us everything you know and we'll see what we can do about a fresh diaper."