Diaper Duty Dodgers Gifts

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

"They look so young and helpless."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

Free Hugs

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

Dad waiting for baby to be born.

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

"It's your turn to change his diaper!"

Gangster Babies

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

"I think this end is loaded."

"Does it come with instructions?"

"When I said change the baby, I meant his diapers!"

'Did you know that baby birds just hang it over the edge of their nest and let it fly!'

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

Smiling at people who make stupid noises, wearing diapers, crying at least 8 times a night, getting cuddled by wrinkled grandparents... Man, being a baby is the World's hardest job!

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

"You see it as half full, I see his diaper as half empty."

'Here, take this. It came in handy when I used to change your nappy.'

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

'creamed peas excepted.'

"Well he smells like his father."

'Occupational hazard.'

"It's as if I never left work, all day long on a turd processor"

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

Why it's called child-rearing.