Diaper Daredevil Gifts

Baby nappies are a toxic waste.

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

A Tit for Tat.

'How's the water skiing?'

"They look so young and helpless."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'That never gets old.'

An extreme sports biker as a baby.

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

'Just doing the school run.'

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

"Does it come with instructions?"

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

"In all my years of teaching I've never seen pizza dough spun into a triangle!"

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Mum inspects poo'

'Here, take this. It came in handy when I used to change your nappy.'

'But that's the baby you took in.'

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

"Well he smells like his father."

"It's as if I never left work, all day long on a turd processor"

'Let's get ready for daycare!!'

"Just saying, most parents mark their kid's height against the wall with a pencil."

"I guess we'll get more conservative as we age, but for now, change is good!"

"Oh, for goodness sake! I'll change the baby's nappy!"

'Mom. This is a no-go. Can we try again tomorrow?'

'His dad must be an oil executive. He's wearing double-hulled diapers.'

"Robert has resolved to be more tolerant. He's starting off slowly with lactose."