Diagnosis Of Dementia Gifts

'Luckily he has dementia so he's go some imaginary friends coming in to look after him.'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"I don't know who you are!"

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

What Do You Do When You're Caring For Someone with Alzheimer's?

Surprise Party

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

I don't know what it is, but it's a textbook case of something.

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'

"I'm sorry, but you've had it up to here."

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

'You're eating all the wrong food.'

'Your sugar level is off the chart. Don't worry. We'll whip you back into shape in no time.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

"You're in luck, in a way. Now is the time to be sick-while Medicare still has some money."

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

"Cancer patients are on the third floor. This is the psych ward. She wouldn't be here unless she was faking it."

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"