Dementia Debunker Gifts

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

"Stinkin' fake news!"

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."

People, please listen. I'm talkin 'bout the income gap. The top one percent of Americans get one third of the nation's income, over double what they got in 1980. One-third. The income for the top 0.01% is 196 times the bottom 90%. Your wages have stagnated and the super-duper rich have gotten super-duper richer! How can you possibly swallow your coffee? Because you're making me do math before noon!

Rumours Online

'Luckily he has dementia so he's go some imaginary friends coming in to look after him.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

'Don't believe everything you hear about global cooling, it's just a theory.'

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

Say What! Mark Meadows

"Which variant of the hoax do you think we contracted?"

Wright Wing Conspiracy.

"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"

Vicarage - Beware of the Dogma.

'Basically, my study challenges the more the merrier theory.'

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

A woman stops at a building directory sign for Centers for Diseases.

'So you've forgotten something - it happens to us all...'

Covid Juggling

'According to the Mayan calendar, 2012 will be the end of the world!'

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

"Weather rebuttal."

Medieval Patent Office

"I'm sorry, sir, but this survey does not allow for that opinion."

" No, I'm not concerned about my weight...why worry about something you can't see?"

Frank was right not to trust statistics...the numbers lie!

Elect Fred O. Pittley: The Candidate of ALL the special interests.

Jabber Wacky