Devotional Chef Gifts

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Namasteak"

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"The wings are addictive."

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

"Is everything ok with your Emile?"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

"You should have said you wanted chairs when you booked the table."

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Waiter, there's a fly in my trout!"

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

Restaurant scene; diners are shown kneeling in reverence at their tables.

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

Me, Alice and God

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"