Biblical Chef Gifts

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Look man, no wings!'

Witch's Brew.

Caption Contest TK

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Bible Bloopers

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'Even More Disciples'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

Cook in the cookery section.

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

'Quit throwing dinner plates, Gentle Jesus.'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Namasteak"

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

"The wings are addictive."

'Creme brulee! You're the best Mum!'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

An intergalactic oat bran cluster, about to significantly lower Earth's average cholesterol level.

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"

Moses/stranded shark

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'