Bookish Chef Gifts

Cook in the cookery section.

Audio Books

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Hard to follow...'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"Some Debussy, Igor."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Book Worm

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

"This medical dictionary has had it's appendix taken out. . . !"

Meet The Ghostwriter

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

Larry's Literary Market.

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

"Books about unicorns? Fantasy section. Next to the biographies of honest politicians."

Pathology.

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

William Blake.

Michel De Montaigne is quotes as saying the following...

Books in the 'Food Section' of a library have been half eaten.

Fairy narratives

"School is loverly this time of year."

'Camilo José Cela'

Book in library - 'Crash tests for dummies' (being read by a crash test dummy).