Biblical Foodie Gifts

'Is there such a thing as diet manna?'

'I sent out for everything.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"You do like octopus?"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

What the Doctor Ordered

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Fast food. Even faster food

La Table

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"Rump roast?"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Pigeon Little