Devoted Dad Gifts

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Les Papas - 'A Father is a gift-horse from Nature'

Gregson is a real family man.

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

Infantry.

Father

Personal Assistants.

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

Work Life Balance

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"My parents are members of a tiny cult that worships me."

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

New dad.

Clown baby.

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

"You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet you."

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

'How are the quadruplets?'

"Be there in a sec, darling. I just want to touch base with Tiffany."

The four sides of W Amherst Faunton: Boss/husband/father/friend.

"... And he's got his father's face!"

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

"I like being a kid - it's the ultimate entitlement program."

'OK, it's a kidney. But you should have seen the kids faces when they opened their x-boxes.'

'Wee Orlando just tagged his first bus shelter.' 'That's ma boy.'

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"Nature, nurture or a bit of both?"

Fathers Day