Devoted Dads Gifts

'OK, it's a kidney. But you should have seen the kids faces when they opened their x-boxes.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

Infantry.

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

Father

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

This is Twig's scene. Get ready! That's her! Where? There! Too late. Nice shot of Jessie Caldwell. Wasn't she fabulous.

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

Personal Assistants.

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

Work Life Balance

'Genius! Art class and snack time!'

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

"My parents are members of a tiny cult that worships me."

'Well, we always said as long as he's got ten fingers and ten toes . . .'

"I was raised in New York and Nancy is from L.A., but we're bringing up the children bicoastal."

'He's doing it again.'