Proud Dads Gifts

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"When did she start crawling?"

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"That's mine!"

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

Infantry.

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"He looks just like your husband."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."