Proud Father Gifts

'If I appear annoyed, it's because none of you noticed my son's latest pictures on my desk.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"That's mine!"

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"He looks just like your husband."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."