Proud Father Pillows

'If I appear annoyed, it's because none of you noticed my son's latest pictures on my desk.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"That's mine!"

'She posted her first blog today.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Infantry.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"He looks just like your husband."

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."