Doting Dad Gifts

"Nature, nurture or a bit of both?"

New dad.

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

Top Dad

"Oh, but it's not okay for me to practices being a parent?"

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

Infantry.

"Notice how Dad ages faster at relativistic speeds?"

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

Personal Assistants.

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

My dad makes his own beer.

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

A Father Clown marking the growth progress of his son's shoe size.

Daddy's Hook

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

Clown baby.

'Please feel free to tell me if Junior is in your way...'

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

"What do you want to be when your dad grows up?"

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

'Watch this! Open up a straw by scrunching up its wrapper! Now put a drop of water on that wrinkly paper tube! Check it out! It wiggles and grows!'

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

"... And he's got his father's face!"

'How are the quadruplets?'

The four sides of W Amherst Faunton: Boss/husband/father/friend.

Expectant father with sports goods - "It's a girl."

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)