Doting Daddy Gifts

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

'A is for Arse.'

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

"Notice how Dad ages faster at relativistic speeds?"

D.I.Y with dad.

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Jogging...

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

Personal Assistants.

'Tired of fetching?'

Bernice Mountain Dog

"He wants a second opinion."

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

"He certainly takes after his Dad."

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

"The emotional support goes both ways."

Operation Father's Day

"For whom the Bella yips... it yips for thee..."

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

"Let's see... water pick, tin foil, snorkel..."

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

Love for the family

"I'm basically a simple dog. Just give me a place to lay my head and lift my leg."

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

New dad.

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

Clown baby.

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."