Doting Daddy Pillows

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

Infantry.

'A is for Arse.'

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

D.I.Y with dad.

"Notice how Dad ages faster at relativistic speeds?"

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Jogging...

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

Personal Assistants.

'Tired of fetching?'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

Bernice Mountain Dog

"He certainly takes after his Dad."

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

"He wants a second opinion."

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

"The emotional support goes both ways."

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

"For whom the Bella yips... it yips for thee..."

Love for the family

"I'm basically a simple dog. Just give me a place to lay my head and lift my leg."

"Let's see... water pick, tin foil, snorkel..."

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

Operation Father's Day

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

New dad.

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

Clown baby.