Daddy Pillows

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

'A is for Arse.'

Jesus Suddenly Realizes It's Almost Father's Day

'It's not a bailout, dad. I just want an adavance on my allowance.'

"We've already got that model."

My dad is the bravest.

Man in stilts pushing his kid along in a very tall chair

'Quick, the coffee!'

Explains the unreturned phone calls.

Best Dad in Richmond

Happy Father's Day: 'More allowance? What happened to the 2 acorns I gave you on Saturday?'

'Wow, thanks for finding my skateboard, daddy!'

Somehow, she knew she'd fooled nobody.

"He certainly takes after his Dad."

'Actually, Fathers' Day is more important to me than Mothers' Day: Daddy actually raised me...'

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

D.I.Y with dad.

'Next Father's day I'll buy you a tie instead of stealing a Ferrari.'

'Congratulations, Papa, Papa, Papa...'

Love for the family

'Just build the cheapest conservatory you've got around him.'

'Your father is a real turkey.'

"Work soft, play soft, Son"

Frankenstein's monster does Father's Day.

Take-Your-Child-To-Work-Day

'Settle down now and Daddy will take you for a nice ride.'

Getting Dad up to speed....Happy Father's Day

"My dad's a magician- he walks down the road and turns into a pub."

Bed time stories

Operation Father's Day

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'