Doting Parent Gifts

"Something to take the sting out of four Bs and two Cs ... "

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Children's artwork exhibition.

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'She posted her first blog today.'

"I miss the Augean stables."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"That's the preacher's dog."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"