Devoted Dad T-Shirts

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Les Papas - 'A Father is a gift-horse from Nature'

Gregson is a real family man.

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

Father

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

Personal Assistants.

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

Work Life Balance

"My parents are members of a tiny cult that worships me."

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

New dad.

Clown baby.

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

"You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet you."

The four sides of W Amherst Faunton: Boss/husband/father/friend.

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

"... And he's got his father's face!"

"Be there in a sec, darling. I just want to touch base with Tiffany."

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

'How are the quadruplets?'

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

"I like being a kid - it's the ultimate entitlement program."

'Wee Orlando just tagged his first bus shelter.' 'That's ma boy.'

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"Nature, nurture or a bit of both?"

Fathers Day

'If I appear annoyed, it's because none of you noticed my son's latest pictures on my desk.'

'My son's doing work experience and he helps me with the small print.'