Device Denouncer Gifts

"Do you think that social media is dumbing-down the art of conversation?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

City Marathon.

'Is this the new input device?'

A lock labeled 'freedom' covers a man's mouth.

The Cost of Censoring Free Speech.

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Fur Baby

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

Computer help.

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"I'm sure you may need your phone, portable charger, laptop, iPad, Xbox, and music player. But we're only going to the mailbox."

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

Communication

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

Cellular Plan

50% looking at phone, 50% looking for phone

"Is Wikileaks' release of hacked government information protected by freedom of speech?"

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

"I just got an alert from our smart refrigerator. It's pleading with us to not stick anything else on it."

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

"Smartphone sales" "Degradation of society"

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

Annoucement

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

Consumer care and technologies

"You fix it by buying a new one."