Device Counselor Gifts

Computer help.

21st century water cooler conversations.

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Is this the new input device?'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Fur Baby

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

"I'm sure you may need your phone, portable charger, laptop, iPad, Xbox, and music player. But we're only going to the mailbox."

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

50% looking at phone, 50% looking for phone

The emotional rollercoaster of a Lab

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

Texting. Hardware. Software. Plans. Most of our business comes from word-of-thumb.

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

Cellular Plan

'How do you want me to answer that question, Norm? As an attorney, or as your best friend?'

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks

Fido phones

'David, I want you tested for steroids.'

"I'd like to help him, but honestly I have no idea who the good boy is."

"Yes, you're definitely a good boy. Your only fault may be that you care too much."