Device Doctor Gifts

'Your Dell went to hell.'

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Is this the new input device?'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Fur Baby

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

Computer help.

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I am the world's first smart tree."

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

Kevin had a computer virus.

"I'm sure you may need your phone, portable charger, laptop, iPad, Xbox, and music player. But we're only going to the mailbox."

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

50% looking at phone, 50% looking for phone

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

'Our new multi-syringe will take care of all your allergies in one fell swoop.'

'He's our team doctor, athletic trainer, chiropractor and psychiatrist all rolled in one.'

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

Consumer care and technologies

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

"You fix it by buying a new one."

Swiss firm solves problems of getting mobile devices to interact

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

'How can you call yourself a workaholic if you don't even have a Blackberry Thumb?'

"These are just the directions to the remote. The directions to the TV are much longer. Technology!"

'Voltage meter!'

'Great news. There's a new, highly effective app for what you've got.'

'Of course it's not downloading your iTunes. That's your 24-hour heart monitor.'

"I don't mind them sending me to my room, but then they shut down my wifi."

"Let me through! I'm admin!"

"You won't believe it, babe. This guy on tech support actually seems to give a s**t."