Desk Sleeper Gifts

Knowing that his post-lunch fatigue was destined to strike, Larry wore his head-mounted airbag.

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

"Jenkins has always been good at saving energy."

'Binkley, how many times have I warned you about sleeping on the job?'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

In case of emergency, break glass.

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'Sure, sure - I'm having a great vacation.'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

Interpretive napping

Inkwell Genie.

Men in office, pose as Rodin's: The Thinker. A sign on the wall reads: THINK.

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'Has everyone read the memo about recycling paper?'

'I admit I was asleep, sir, but I was dreaming that I was working!'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

The weightless office.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Clock watcher

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'