Classroom Sleeper Gifts

'Tommy falls asleep in class.'

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

Computer Class.

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

Don't you hate...

'I didn't do the problem because you didn't say 'please.''

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

Interpretive napping

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

The History Teacher

Education Guidance

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

Young Stephen King

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

'Yes, that person there...'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

'How did my Chinese ancestors keep from falling off the earth before Mr Newton invented gravity?'

'Why are 'N' and 'O' always together?'