Classroom Snoozer Gifts

The only time students were even slightly awake during Professor McDrone's class was when the custodian vacuumed.

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

Sheep Ledger

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Finger on the Z Key

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

'I didn't do the problem because you didn't say 'please.''

Don't you hate...

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

Education Guidance

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

Young Stephen King

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

'Yes, that person there...'

'How did my Chinese ancestors keep from falling off the earth before Mr Newton invented gravity?'

'Looks like we missed the chairman's powerpoint presentation, then...'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

"Well, class, HUMOR isn't usually considered a basic sense, but we'll add it anyway..."