Seminar Snoozer Gifts

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

Don't you hate...

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

Gone to seed.

'Tommy falls asleep in class.'

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

"Attendance is always down the Sunday after Father's Day. They all get fishing gear."

Computing in the Cloud

'...and blessed be our new church nursery, which allows certain congregation members to catch up on their sleep during my sermon.'

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

Fortunately the Pastor didn't realize it, but his wife's new 'mod' hat was actually a clever disguise for two canisters of coffee.

I was awake all last night. Me, too. I'm exhausted. Ditto!! Thank heavens for work. And for today's staff meeting! It's the only place I can sleep!

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

Good luck with all the revision!!!

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

'Shouldn't I be home in bed or something?'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

8 AM in the sleeper elevator car

'With the possible exception of my husband, we all enjoyed your sermon, Reverend.'

'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

Lawn mower, mowing round sunbather.

"I don't know if a nap is part of God's plan for me."

"As it says in Matthew 26-40, 'So, you had not the strength to stay awake with me ONE hour?'"

"This is your wake-up cal.....Oh, sorry! Wrong room!"

"This next one's for anyone out there who might still be awake."

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

"This is all very boring..."