Concert Snoozer Gifts

"This next one's for anyone out there who might still be awake."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

Bed Seasons

The Sleeping Congregation.

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Gone to seed.

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

'Tommy falls asleep in class.'

Computing in the Cloud

"Oh, wow! 4:30!! I slept all day again!"

"Attendance is always down the Sunday after Father's Day. They all get fishing gear."

'Ed's always been a bit of a dreamer.'

'...and blessed be our new church nursery, which allows certain congregation members to catch up on their sleep during my sermon.'

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

'Shouldn't I be home in bed or something?'

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

Fortunately the Pastor didn't realize it, but his wife's new 'mod' hat was actually a clever disguise for two canisters of coffee.

I was awake all last night. Me, too. I'm exhausted. Ditto!! Thank heavens for work. And for today's staff meeting! It's the only place I can sleep!

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"You're closer. You get it."

Good luck with all the revision!!!

8 AM in the sleeper elevator car

'With the possible exception of my husband, we all enjoyed your sermon, Reverend.'

Lawn mower, mowing round sunbather.

"Nowadays, I not only sleep through Winter, I also nap through Spring, Summer and Autumn..."

"I don't know if a nap is part of God's plan for me."

"This is all very boring..."

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

"This is your wake-up cal.....Oh, sorry! Wrong room!"