Conference Snoozer Gifts

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

Don't you hate...

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

Sleeping at the computer.

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

'Tommy falls asleep in class.'

"Oh, wow! 4:30!! I slept all day again!"

Computing in the Cloud

'...and blessed be our new church nursery, which allows certain congregation members to catch up on their sleep during my sermon.'

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

Fortunately the Pastor didn't realize it, but his wife's new 'mod' hat was actually a clever disguise for two canisters of coffee.

Good luck with all the revision!!!

'He's started jogging to work.'

8 AM in the sleeper elevator car

'With the possible exception of my husband, we all enjoyed your sermon, Reverend.'

"I will assume she would second the motion to adjourn."

"You snored through the whole motivational seminar."

"I don't know if a nap is part of God's plan for me."

"This next one's for anyone out there who might still be awake."

The only time students were even slightly awake during Professor McDrone's class was when the custodian vacuumed.

"This is all very boring..."

"I hate it when they have a day off work: we can't sneak up and nap on the couch..."

'And then it happened. Halfway through your sermon, my insomnia was miraculously cured!'