Desk Dweller Gifts

Insurance co. claims department.

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

In case of emergency, break glass.

Matter/Anti-Matter.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Al, The Go-From Guy

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Board of Censors.

'I'm convinced that Sims is on performance reducing drugs.'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

People scoffed, but Cunningham survived multiple corporate restructuring campaigns this way.

Workaholic

Trough for one

'Cheer up, Mr Laping. It's only until the fishing season is over.'

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

"Dave's a real workaholic. His idea of a holiday is to shift to another office for four weeks!"

"Bob's roofing. Bob speaking"

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

Ice Cubicles

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

What a delightful family. Give them to me at once.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

The weightless office.

'I was married to my job, until I recognized it as a co-dependent relationship.'

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

'Today, I did the same thing I did yesterday, and the day before. I'm feeling so run down...'

'Is he expecting you?'

"That's our copy cat."

In Tray and Out Tray

'And this is where daddy goes through the motions.'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

It could be worse. We could be chained to a desk.