Dedicated Desk Dweller Gifts

"I'll be here at my home office from nine AM till nine PM... Also from nine PM till nine AM.

'As you know, Lord, Larry just loved his little cubicle.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"Oh, this old thing?"

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

City Boy.

In case of emergency, break glass.

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Office Ergonomics.

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"Working from home is a great idea, Dad. We'd just like to establish some kind of dress code."

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

The weightless office.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'We're looking for people who like to take work home.'

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Word is that since we increased your case load, you've been living at the office."