Office Dweller Gifts

Poor Elwood wasn't sure if he was coming or going.

-I'm prepared to pay you more if you work hard. -I knew there'd be a catch.

'With a few years of physical therapy, I think there's a good possibility that you could get a job as a paperweight!'

"Seriously? You don't hear a ticking noise?"

'You're putting in too much time at the office when you start to think the cleaning crew as your co-workers.'

'The doctor can treat ennui and lassitude, but he can't touch torpor.'

"Word is that since we increased your case load, you've been living at the office."

'Those are the family I'd have if I believed in a Work/Life balance.'

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

'Do you think I'd let a run-of-the-mill guy like you,run the mill?'

Once or twice a year he'd leave work and go home to his family. He missed them terribly, but not the commute.

'My car has been tipped over and repeatedly rammed. You don't know anything about this, do you Carl?'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Executive dog has framed his first bone.

'This is just a preliminary visit. My web site, grimreaper.com, will fill you in on any future details.'

"Jackson couldn't afford to renew the lease on his office."

"I need to lose weight to fit into my workout clothes."

R. J. Willoby - Old Money, Old Technology, Member 'Good Old Boys Network'.

"Your resume was good, up until the point where you said, 'Don't make me beg.'"

"I'm sure you do spend all your time here at the office, but could you please stop having your mail delivered here?"

"I've decided to transfer you to the graveyard shift."

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

"Look at this! Fetching, rolling over, catching a ball. Why can't you do any tricks? Stupid dog!"

Center for diet research

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

Alone Shark: 'Still nobody to see me, Pauline?'

A man stuck at work, talking on the phone while looking at the clock.

"Should we have to evacuate the building, let's not forget him."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

Margaret...Meatball

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

Man sitting at desk with burned out light bulb in thought balloon over his head; the sign on the door reads "California Energy Commission".

"Oh, that's just the first draft of some divorce papers I was messing around with."