Creative Office Dweller Gifts

"They got rid of 'work from home,' so I pushed for 'blanket forts from office.'"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

City Boy.

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

In case of emergency, break glass.

"Yes sir, I'll admit I was sceptical about the whole 'mini-office' concept at first..."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

Thinking outside the cubicle

"Working from home is a great idea, Dad. We'd just like to establish some kind of dress code."

The weightless office.

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Imagine there's no office...

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"Yes, I know, Munger. But Wallace Stevens didn't scribble his damned verses on company time."

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

"Cushy job, corner office with a view - everything you've ever wanted is just through those windows."

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'We're looking for people who like to take work home.'

Time Clock.