Chronic Desk Dweller Gifts

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"Oh, this old thing?"

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

City Boy.

In case of emergency, break glass.

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"Working from home is a great idea, Dad. We'd just like to establish some kind of dress code."

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

The weightless office.

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'We're looking for people who like to take work home.'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Word is that since we increased your case load, you've been living at the office."

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

R. J. Willoby - Old Money, Old Technology, Member 'Good Old Boys Network'.