Drawer Dweller Gifts

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

Recruitment Agency - "Of course the top drawer candidates are more expensive."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

In case of emergency, break glass.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Opening the Barrel

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Wifi whore

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

Student Food Pyramid

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

The weightless office.

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

A menu with risks and benefits

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

Al, The Go-From Guy

"That's our copy cat."

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

Meet The People in the Bookstore Café Staring at Their Laptops 2-4 p.m.

Biting Slippers.

Wine: New & Old!!!

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

'No seriously. His final words actually were, 'If I only had spent more time at the office.''

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."