Diy Dweller Gifts

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

The Art Student.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

In case of emergency, break glass.

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

Turtle Trailer Court

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"Come and get it!"

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

Spooning

'Mobile homes aren't allowed here.'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

The weightless office.

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Student Food Pyramid

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

'We just figured that with the kids travelling so much for soccer, it made more sense to sell our house and get an RV.'

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

Al, The Go-From Guy

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.