Dojo Dweller Gifts

Karate

"He'll never be good enough to snatch this pebble from my hand."

'The first move you must learn, is how to open your wallet and pay for your lessons.'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

The Art Student.

Overjumpers

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

In case of emergency, break glass.

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Mohammad's motors

'Have you had a brazilian?'

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

Wifi whore

Florist "Say it with cacti"

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Spooning

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

The weightless office.

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

Al, The Go-From Guy

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

'It's kinda like an office with a window. The guy in the next cubicle put his fist through the wall.'