Home Dweller Gifts

'We can't afford a bigger house, and stop referring to your room as your cubicle.'

"I'll tell him the cat did it."

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

After a lifetime of hiding his agoraphobia, Kurt comes out of the closet and hides in one.

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Dog Walking Services

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Shakespeare Street

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

"Come and get it!"