Diner Dweller Gifts

A menu with risks and benefits

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

Wifi whore

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

"The usual."

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

Student Food Pyramid

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"What do you recommend today?"